Life as I know it right now

So, have you ever stepped back and looked at the path you have been walking? Have you noticed where your route ended in a dead end? Or maybe the place that looked like it was at one elevation and you found yourself climbing a mountain instead? Do you remember the time your path went by the quiet lake and you had no idea it was around that bend?
Well, that would be much of the way my walk of faith has been. Next month marks 21 years for me. It will also mark the exact half way part of my life. I will have spent half of my life without Jesus and half of my life with Him. Both halves have had their moments, but by and far the second half of my life has been so much more of a wild ride than the first half could have ever been.
The same summer I became a Christian I also met my husband. I did not know he would become my husband, as a matter of fact, I started to date someone else that same summer. Three weeks before the wedding date the other guy called off the wedding.  I was shaken to the core, but I knew God was bigger than my circumstances. Four years after that non-wedding, I married my husband.
Our marriage is not like the movies; well in some ways it has been, but it has also been a challenge, a blessing, a source of pain (usually self-inflicted), but oh, God has been so good to us.
We have two sons; amazing, incredible, intelligent, tenderhearted, capable, young men, and I can hardly wait to see what God is going to do in their lives. We have family and friends who challenge and encourage us, a roof over our heads and food in the pantry.
If I were to look back over the past 21 years I would see places where I went off the path God had set me on, only to find myself in the muck and mire. I would see times I stood on the mountain top like Peter and John, experiencing the glory of God. I have the scars to show for the times I got scratched and cut trying to find a way other than God’s way to get from point A to point B.
I have no way of knowing what God is going to do next in my life. I know He has the best plans for me. I don’t want to make a choice that will keep me from His plans.
When I was teaching a few years ago I had a sign in my class that said “Are you F.A.T.?” It used to freak out my students who had been taught that FAT wasn’t polite. I had to explain that F.A.T. meant Faithful, Available, Teachable and that in this case you wanted to be FAT.
Even after 20+ years as a Christian I want to be FAT. I want to be faithful to a God who has been more than faithful to me. I want to be available to what He has planned for me. Most of all I want to be teachable. I don’t know it all, I don’t even know half of it.  I have to be open to learning more. More things about God, more things about myself, more things about the world I am a part of right now.
I am reminded of the verse in Esther, when Mordecai says to her that she was born for “such a time as this.” I love the time period of the 1800’s and the 1940’s but I wasn’t born then. I was born in 1969. I was born to be a part of this generation and to bring up the next generation for God’s glory.
Why are you here? What will your legacy be? Are you F.A.T.? Do you want to be?

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About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
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