Wilderness Days

This past year has been a time in the desert for me. Sure, I have been blessed with new friendships through different Bible studies, but there are times when I have felt myself wandering alone. At certain places I felt more than alone, if one can feel that way.
June 3rd of last year was my last day at a school where I had taught for 4 years. I was laid off due to low enrollment, an understood situation, but difficult nonetheless. My last paycheck came at the end of August and it would be a long 40 weeks in the desert as my family and I struggled to make ends meet, often coming up short.
I have grown a lot in my faith. I have been stretched in ways that I didn’t know I could be, but in the end I have seen God show up and show off–just when we thought all was truly lost. I have had to recite verse after verse to remind myself of God’s provision and capabilities. I have often recited the 5 parts from the Believing God Bible study by Beth Moore:
1. God is who He says He is
2. God can do what He says He can do
3. I am who God says that I am
4. I can do all things through Christ
5. God’s word is alive and active in me
Each one of these points has been a resting point for me; helping me find courage for the next day or even the next hour.
God is faithful and He has brought me through many difficult situations. These 40+ weeks in the desert have been hard; watching my husband struggle with our situation. I have spent nights awake, sick to my stomach, wondering how things will be solved.
God doesn’t though. He has the ability to see the past, present, and future all at the same time. He already knows how things will happen. I certainly don’t. I can’t even figure out how to answer the “Where do you see yourself in 5 years” question when asked in an interview. I could not imagine what God would do in the next five years.
It was 40 weeks from the last day of work until the first interview I have had this year. I have interviewed for a teaching position, a sales position, and today I interviewed for a Gift Registry Consultant position at a department store. Of all of the positions, I would think that the consultant position would work best, as it fits all of the various jobs I have held over the years. It’s a little bit helper, a little bit ambassador, a little bit solver of knots.
After a period in the desert, I hope I have done as well as Jesus did when He was tempted. I don’t want to fail when I am tested. I think I have done okay, but I won’t know until a day in the future.
Until then, I am going to keep on walking; one foot in front of the other. One more day on the journey of faith.

About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
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