In my last post I described my struggle with apathy.  I had been struggling with my inability to fully engage in what was going on around me.

I spent this last week in prayer; asking God to help me see what I needed to fix, confess, address, whatever needed to happen to experience breakthrough.

On Tuesday I had an honest conversation with someone about my inner turmoil and found myself released.  By speaking out loud what was going on inside, the struggle and turmoil lost its power. My dearest relationships have been restored and I do not feel the “clog of conflict” within me.

I am reminded of what Jesus said in the book of John; “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free (John 8:32).”  Beth Moore once said that “the Enemy knows the truth and tells the lie.” How true.

The Enemy wants Christians to be confused, tangled in turmoil, clogged in conflict, and therefore unable to be useful for God’s purposes.  But when I pray, when I speak the truth of my conflict out loud, the chains of struggle are loosened.  The more I speak Scripture and the promises of God out loud, the more the chains are loosened until they finally fall to my feet and I am free.

My desire is to be conduit for the Holy Spirit.  I want to be fully opened; no logjams, no blockage,  so that I can be fully used by God.  I love the Scripture in John 7 where Jesus talks about “streams of living water” (see John 7:37-38).  I want to be like Niagara Falls, letting the Holy Spirit just pour out of me.

Every time I notice apathy or confusion I will speak it out, allowing God to move within to clear the way.  Then I will be free.

It reminds me of the Newsboys song, I Am Free; the lyrics are based on the verse in John 8 that I mentioned earlier.

Through You the blind will see
Through You the mute will sing
Through You the dead will rise
Through You our hearts will praise
Through You the darkness flees
Through You my heart screams I am free
I am free

I am free to run
(I am free to run)
I am free to dance
(I am free to dance)
I am free to live for You
(I am free to live for You)
I am free
(I am free)
Yes, I am free
(I am free)

Through You the kingdom’s come
Through You the battle’s won
Through You I’m not afraid
Through You the price is paid
Through You there’s victory
Because of You my heart screams I am free
I am free


Who the Son sets free is free indeed.
Who the Son sets free is free indeed.

(Chorus again) 

I am free.


About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
This entry was posted in growing pains, reflections, Walking by Faith and not by sight and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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