My best friend and I saw a movie today. I love it when she and I get to spend time together, especially when it is spur-of-the-moment stuff.
This movie was powerful, thought-provoking, even challenging at points. I spent a lot of the time reflecting on the main character, on how her story and mine were so similar. Every time I found myself feeling like I might cry or at least tear-up, I stopped myself.
When the movie finished my best friend teased me, “I cried more than you did!” I smiled. It was hard to explain. I couldn’t let myself show the depth of the emotions I felt while watching the movie.
Why? What was going on inside of me? Was the story too close for comfort? Was it that I didn’t want to face the message of the movie? Why did I feel the need to contain my feelings before they were really experienced in full?
Have you ever felt something so incredibly deep that you didn’t want to “open Pandora’s box” for fear of what might come out?
God has plans for me that I cannot know, have yet to know or understand. But I know that He has been working in my life since my very conception. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).”
There are so many promises I have in Scripture from God; Psalm 139:13-16, Romans 8:38-39, Romans 8:28, 1 Corinthians 2:9, 2 Corinthians 9:8, and Philippians 4:19. Those are just a few of the Scriptures I lean on when I wonder “what-in-the-world God is up to” in my life.
I am going to “sit” on the topic of the movie for a while: journal about it, reflect on it, listen to what God wants me to learn from it. Maybe I’ll write more later on, maybe I won’t–either way I expect to understand more in time.
If you have the chance to see the movie–do so–it will leave an indelible mark–if you let it. Go to http://www.octoberbabymovie.net for more information.
Every life is beautiful…