Gains and losses

Once my husband and I knew we were moving the question came, “What to do with the livestock?” We had thirty-five birds: chickens, ducks, and geese and two goats (a nanny and her kid).
We sold the birds almost immediately, but we have been trying to figure out a way to keep the goats. We just bought them in March and have grown very attached to them. However, with so much about this move known only to God, we have gone back and forth trying to find someone to “goat-sit” until we were were settled. Tonight someone bought the goats.
I am sad, I could even cry over it. I have loved the nanny goat’s personality and the playfulness of her kid. Of all the things we have let go of for this move, this one actually stings a little.
But since I am not really a “crier” by nature, I tried to get a little more perspective about it. When Job lost everything– including his children– he cried. He mourned his losses. He didn’t try to put on the “it’s ok” face and pretend. He tore his robe, shaved his head, and fell on the ground before God (Job 1:20). Job knew that what he had received came from God and that God had allowed it to be taken from him (Job 1:21).

In the four years my family has lived on our farm, we have experienced hardship and loss of property, jobs, and relationships. It has been difficult, there is no way to sugar-coat it. Yet, I keep reminding myself that God is bigger than our circumstances.

If I allow myself to wallow in all that I have lost, I will miss the opportunity to see what I will gain. Job said it best, “But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives” (Job 19:25). I take comfort in knowing that God is alive and well and actively working in my life to draw me closer to Him and grow my spirit to be more like His.

I am confident that my gains will far outweigh my losses, in the end. Besides, I cannot receive something new from God if my hands are still holding onto something else. Even goats.

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About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
This entry was posted in growing pains, reflections, Walking by Faith and not by sight and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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