I am supposed to be asleep, but all I can do is toss and turn. I am fighting self-doubt. Self-doubt is one of the enemy’s favorite weapons. He uses it to make us second-guess decisions we have made, to make us worry about things we have no control over, and to basically incapacitate us.
In this crazy journey my family and I are on, we have seen God show up in huge, amazing, incredible ways. Yet, somehow the enemy is trying to get me to see the decisions we have made as bad ones, wrong ones, “were-those-really-the-best-choices-you-could-have-made” ones.
As I toss and turn tonight, the enemy is tossing ideas and thoughts into my head, “what if you had waited until everything was all settled to move?”
“What if this person thinks that you are a fool to move?”
“What if that person does such-and-such and you are too far away to fix it?”
“What if? What if? What if?”
Scripture says we are to “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
(2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV). So every time the enemy tries to attack me, I am to capture what he is throwing and demolish it. I am striving to imagine myself with a huge baseball mitt on my hand, snagging all of the pop flies and line drives the enemy is hitting to me– ultimately getting him”out” every time.
Father, you promise to never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). I need you tonight Father, to help calm my spirit, protect my mind, and prepare my heart and soul for a restful sleep (Ephesians 6). Please be my shield and protector from all he throws at me (Psalm 119:114). Thank you for being the God who protects, loves and provides for His children. I love you so much.