I had my first lesson in Stillness and Solitude today.
The boys have gone back to school. My husband is at work. I am alone. My “to-do” list, “if-I-only-had-the-time-I-would” list, and “gee-what-should-I-do-next” lists sit idle. Sure, I’ve made beds, straightened up, done the dishes, but now, what do I do?
Being still is hard. I fidget, move things from one place to another, put them back where they were, walk around, study things, stare off into space. What is it about being still that is so hard??
Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” The whole psalm tells me that I am to find rest in God in times of trouble, to see that He is bigger than all of the troubles I will face, so I can rest in Him.
The past few days have made me emotionally tired. In the past week family members have passed, and then the shocking news of a Robin Williams’ passing and then Hollywood legend, Lauren Bacall passed away, too. I have friends who are struggling with the loss of others who “aren’t supposed to go yet.” So many hurting, so many lost and broken. My heart aches and the news leaves me shaking my head as to what I can do.
Then I hear “be still.” I wonder what God could possibly be thinking. How can I be still in all of this? Again, “be still.” Then I realize I will never be able to make things right, fix what is broken, heal the hurt, and balance the scales. But God can and God does.
So, I will do what I am called to do and entrust God with everything. I will learn to be still because my God has got this. Just like He has me, my husband, and our boys. Just like He has you.