One of the biggest challenges for me with our move has been going from 160 acres of wide open spaces, fresh air, and room to roam…to a two bed/two bath apartment. Today I felt the challenge a bit more as I looked out my sliding door and saw the trees and sky “just beyond my reach.”
There are days when I feel much like the lion that paces back and forth in the cage at a zoo… There is so much more for me…if I could only get to it.
I want to bring this discontent into alignment with the season God has me going through right now. I know we are where we are as part of a His plan. I know it to my very fiber, it’s just hard at the moment to keep this perspective.
Much like the child that wants to bust out of the car the minute he or she sees the playground, I want to go busting out of where I am to where I believe God is calling our family, wide open spaces. But just like the child who wants to get to the playground, I must watch my step and watch out for unseen dangers as I cross the parking lot. I must hold the hand of my Heavenly Parent and let Him walk with me to the very thing He knows will bring us joy.
So I wait. In the meantime I keep my windows open, letting in the breeze, I sleep with the window open at night to feel the cool air on my face. I strive to see the beauty in what surrounds me now, instead of wanting what I cannot have right now.
I want to write verses and quotes on the bare walls of our apartment to remind me to not pull and strain toward what is “not yet” mine to enjoy. Since we would lose our security deposit on the apartment if I did write on the walls, I have found an Expo- white board marker and I write messages to myself on the bathroom mirror. I carry a composition book with me to write down verses and quotes to encourage me. I have put up sticky notes and index cards with words to keep my feet on the path I am on — and not stray to the next place.
I am striving to follow in the words of Jim Elliot, who said, ““Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”
It is His plan that matters most, I don’t want to pull ahead and miss what is happening right here.
Please meet me where I am and help me to find the contentment
that can so easily be twisted into discontentment.
I pray I will rest in Your perfect timing,
Your perfect peace, and trust You for the next step I take.
May my soul find rest in You and You alone.