Hidden scars

Of all of the things that God does when a person invites Him into his or her life, I think the most incredible thing He does is give them new eyes. No longer the broken, discarded person, God allows her to see herself as He does.

Perfect. Whole. Beautiful. Redeemed.

As I was drying my hair today, I studied my features. I could see my hair color, a trait from my grandma, the shape of my face is from my mother, my eyes are from my dad. Yes, they are all mine, but they came from someone else.

I looked at the scar on my right wrist, a reminder of a day long ago when a tantrum throwing toddler ended up with a trip to the ER for stitches. It’s been over forty years since I put my arm through the window that day, but I still have the story– right there on my wrist. I started wearing bracelets over it because people would ask if I had tried to commit suicide.

I thought of the other scars I had from childhood play that ended with stitches–four times total– they are little touchstones of what had been. Now healed, but a visual reminder nontheless.

I have other scars too. These scars are not visible to the naked eye. They are the scars I carry underneath it all. Scars from cruel words spoken by hurting people. Scars from hurts caused by the actions of hurting people.

When I was a teenager, nearly in college, I was raped. It was devastating. It was shameful. I felt I had deserved it. That somehow I without value before the act– that’s why it happened to me– and definitely after the act– my “one treasure” was gone forever.

Then God stepped in. Three very sad, destructive years after the rape, God showed me His amazing view of me. He showed me that I was precious. I was to be prized. I had value, worth, I was a treasure still. In God’s economy I was priceless.

I have been to counseling many times during my faith journey working on coming to terms with losses like this one and finding healing on the other side. During one season my counselor gave me the words to a powerful song by Kari Jobe called “My Beloved.” I have only read the lyrics, but the words were what my soul needed to bring healing to that tender spot. It’s part of the reason I have tattooed the word Beloved on my arm.

I don’t know what kind of scars your heart has hidden away. I don’t need to know. God does and that is enough. I do hope the words below bring you some peace, some healing, and some Hope from Heaven.

My Beloved

You’re my beloved, you’re my bride
To sing over you is My delight
come away with Me My love

Under My mercy come and wait
Till we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you My child

You’re beautiful to Me
So beautiful to Me

I sing over you My song of peace
Cast all your care down at My feet
Come and find your rest in Me

I’ll breathe My life inside of you
I’ll bear you up on eagle’s wings
And hide you in the shadow of My strength
I’ll take you to My quiet waters
I’ll restore your soul
Come rest in Me and be made whole

Kari Jobe & Klaus Kuehn
Gateway Create Publishing

About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
This entry was posted in growing pains, reflections, Walking by Faith and not by sight and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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