But I will sing of Your strength and will joyfully proclaim Your faithful love in the morning. For You have been a stronghold for me, a refuge in my day of trouble. (Psalm 59:16 HSCB)
I started today tired. My usual work schedule has me coming home around midnight and by the time I have straightened up and settled down it is easily 12:30-1:00 a.m. My alarm goes off before 7 a.m. and I am up to start my day. The thing is I remember being so stressed and exhausted last year with about the same length of work and sleep in my day.
This time, my heart is different, my perspective is different. I have named my enemy (Anxiety) and recognize some of my sticking points that can drag me down. I am able to catch myself before falling into the deep hole of depression– not every time, but more often– so I call that a victory.
This psalm speaks the truth of my heart today. Though I started out tired, I now find myself energized and ready to finish my day without worry.
There are so many ways I see God being my refuge and my stronghold. My marriage, stronger than I remember it being– or recognize it being in a long time. My faith, deeper, richer, and fuller than before.
I continue to find myself humming and singing hymns in my head and heart as I go throughout my day. I am experiencing the truth that God’s word really doesn’t come back void (Isaiah 55:11). The Scriptures I have learned and memorized throughout the years are still resonating in my heart and mind, like a bass drum’s sound pulsates through your chest at a symphony, so too does God’s word reverberate through me.
I find myself amazed at His love for me and His promise to hold me and protect me. That’s why I have memorized verses over the years, reading and re-reading them until I can wear them like clothing. They are the way I have combated against my anxiety.
Praying verses, saying them out loud, singing hymns, calling on truths that He has proved over the years. It is my stone of remembrance for His goodness and character.
Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.
Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I’ll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.
words and music by Robinson, Wyeth, based on 1 Samuel 7:12