continuing on…

My collection of books is growing in my bag.  At present, I am reading five different books, a chapter or two in each almost daily.  It has helped me get grounded again after so much activity during the summer. I mentioned a couple of them yesterday, the ones I am reading to help me re-engage in what prayer looks like for me during this season.  The other books are literature, a classic novel and a contemporary one.

My purpose is to find the little moments to re-center, re-focus, and remember what my heart is like and how it was created and wired.

The more my heart awakens from the slumber of too much activity, the more I find myself reaching for the things that comfort me and grow me at the same time.  Which is why my book collection grows.  Most of my books are still in boxes due to the move and the renovation of the house. Right now, there isn’t a room that doesn’t have something going on it, whether it is re-wiring the room, peeling wallpaper, repairing cracks with drywall tape and joint compound, or storing boxes of stuff for the rooms in process– there is no place to “go” and chill out, relax, or refocus. I know this isn’t a forever situation, but it will take some time to get things into place.

So, I go for walks around the property, sit on the porch and play with the kittens, and read. I realize that my house is a lot like the way I am, personally.  Lots of activity inside, renovating old thinking processes, re-wiring the places that are worn out or just not working correctly anymore.  There are skills and talents that are in boxes waiting for me to complete some areas in my heart and healing, so they can be unpacked and displayed and used.

My prayer is that each day I will exhale out more of the way I “used” to be, the anxiety, fear, doubt, and worry I have carried with me for decades, and inhale the trust, the Truth, the reality, that I am a Child of God. He created me over 45 years ago, knitting me together in my mother’s womb, I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-16).  When I truly embrace this, living it out day-to-day, I will find my place of rest, my place of comfort–where I can relax and release any burdens I have carried.

It must be why these verses speak to me so deeply every time I read them.  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

And this is why I continue on, reading, reflecting, writing, praying, listening.  My God is speaking and I don’t want to miss a word.  His Word is Life.  And I want to live in Him.

 

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About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
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