never enough

Each day I strive to spend time with God, reading devotionals, meditating on the words I have read, hoping to steep my soul in them and carry them around during the day. Some days this works, other days one would think I never knew of God’s grace– my heart feels stained, ugly, and steeped with disappointment, sadness, and so on.

When this happens and I catch myself on this negative trajectory, I close my eyes and take a moment to re-center my heart on God.  There are times though, when I wonder when will God say, “That’s it! I am sick-and-tired of having to forgive you for this thinking?  When are you going to get it through your thick head that this behavior needs to stop?” 

I wonder, will there ever be a day when God says, “Enough! I am done with you! You keep blowing it, keep sinning, keep withholding mercy from others, keep expecting people to live up to expectations you aren’t even living up to every day.  I am done — stop coming around and pestering me.”

And then, like a sweet breeze from Heaven I hear, “Oh sweet child, how could you think I would ever turn from you? My Son died for you, you have called to Him as Savior and have been cleansed by His blood since that very day.  There is nothing you will ever do, no sin you will ever commit that will make me say ‘Enough.’  I love you, you are precious in my sight and I cannot deny my own.”

My heart soars at the idea that God will never reach the point of enough — not with me, not with you.  Not with anyone who seeks forgiveness and through God’s strength and the help of others turns from the very sin they confessed.

We as human beings spend too much time trying to measure ourselves against each other. Well, at least I don’t act like that.  This kind of thinking reminds me of the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18:9-14:

 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable:  “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.  The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Our measuring stick is the Son of God and His Grace gift on the Cross.  If God says to us that He will never reach Enough then maybe that is how we should treat each other and ourselves.

Give grace, receive grace, show mercy, love, kindness, forgiveness, keep no more lists of the wrongs done to you, let them go– just like God did with you.

About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
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