wise, old, gray, and sustained

One of the quirky parts of restoring an old house is what is discovered in the nooks and crannies.  We have found turn-of-the-last-century bottles of Lysol cleaner, a Thermos circa World War I, old pictures, odd assortments of things. One of the things we discovered was a fur coat in the attic.  The previous owner may have put it there to air it out, keep it from getting damp, who knows.  The mice have moved in and moved out numerous times and now the coat is beyond saving.

I brought it down in plastic garbage bag, in case any previous inhabitants came back, and set it aside to discard.  My husband reminded me to check all the pockets first, just in case a treasure was put in the pocket for safe keeping.  Using rubber gloves to protect myself from unknown critters, I opened the pockets one-by-one and looked inside.  I didn’t find any treasures, but I did find an old bottle of hair tonic. The bottle label promises the gray hair will be gone, directions included for application, and a cork stopper to close the bottle when finished.  I laughed. Of all of the things to keep in a pocket, gray hair restorer.

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you (Isaiah 46:4).

Why do we long to stay young, look young, be young? I admit life seemed a bit simpler then, no 24/7 news to startle us and prompt us to live in fear, messages were passed in the hallways in uniquely folded patterns- a signature of the message writer.  But the reality is, I didn’t like me back then.  I was rudderless, scared, without God, and broken again and again by false promises from others. I don’t want to go back and be young again.

Now, as an adult, married nearly twenty years, mother of two incredible sons, and walking my Faith journey for over two decades, I have gained wisdom and knowledge.  I have gone from being a dark-redhead to a strawberry blonde with white hairs that seem to crop up overnight.  I have wrinkles from laughter and reading too late into the night with poor lighting.  I have stretch marks and scars from my children.  I am “worn in” and some days, “worn out.”

And I am sustained.  God has proven Himself faithful when I have doubted His goodness, His faithfulness, His grace, and His love. God has held me back from the abyss that seemed ready to suck me in forever.  God has been with me from the moment of my conception to this very moment as I type these words.  He promised in Hebrews 13:5, I will never leave you or forsake you. A verse I have repeated again and again in my life.

You can keep your new fads, the miracle creams, and weight-loss products that will make me look like I did when I was young.  I prefer the wrinkles, white hairs, and wisdom I have gained in my life.  Most of all, I prefer this journey with God more than a single moment I ever lived without Him.

He has caused his wonders to be remembered; the Lord is gracious and compassionate (Psalm 111:4).

About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
This entry was posted in reflections, Walking by Faith and not by sight and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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