owning it

One of the hardest parts about taking a new direction in life is owning what went wrong in the past.

I remember the moment during a counseling session, when all of the broken parts of me were spread out like puzzle pieces on the floor. It was time to claim the pieces that I put there or allowed to be put there. It was time to be honest about my part in my mess.

While it would have been great in some ways to have the counselor say, “You poor thing, look at all these sad/bad things that happened to you.  You have the right to be so messed up.” It would have actually been more harmful than the events on the floor.  I cannot heal, I cannot learn to recognize the things that trigger my reactions if I act like it isn’t my fault.

So, it comes back to owning my part.  Being honest, even when it hurts me to remember the part I played.  The words I said.  The way I acted.  Part of the “owning it” includes asking forgiveness, if needed, from the other person involved.  Sometimes I cannot tell the person my actions were wrong.  I ask God at that point to forgive me of those actions.

I have learned that when I take control of my part it takes away some of the power the event/person held over me.  Owning it allows me to see I have the power to change.

And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope (Romans 5:3-4).

God is good all the time.  Even in the hurts, pain, sorrow, and ugliness we all have in our past.  God is good.  He wants me to see I don’t have to face the ugliness alone and through His grace and amazing redemption He will make that ugly thing into something beautiful. He does it all the time

….to provide for those who mourn in Zion; to give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, festive oil instead of mourning, and splendid clothes instead of despair. And they will be called righteous trees, planted by the Lord to glorify Him (Isaiah 61:3).

I own my mess, but I also am bringing it to Jesus. Allowing Him to redeem it, restore it, and make it into something beautiful.

Beautiful Things by Gungor

All this pain

I wonder if I’ll ever find my way?
I wonder if my life could really change at all?
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come up from this ground at all?

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

Oh, you make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
Making me new

You make beautiful things
(You make me new)
You make beautiful things out of the dust
(You are making me new, making me new)

You make beautiful things
(You make me new)
You make beautiful things out of us
(You are making me new, making me new)

Oh, you make beautiful things
(You make me new)
You make beautiful things out of the dust
(You are making me new, making me new)

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new

Songwriters
Michael Gungor; Lisa Gungor

About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
This entry was posted in growing pains, reflections, Walking by Faith and not by sight and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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