Couples go through seasons when things seem shiny and new like the early days of courtship and other days when it is so dark, it seems like the sun is broken. During these hard times it can feel like there is no chance to feel the warmth again.
I have watched couples disintegrate when the darkness surrounds them for too long. I have watched couples link arms and battle to the top, determined to find the sun again-together.
But sometimes, that determination is not enough. The love they feel is not enough to pull them out of the pit. That is when it is time for help. This help can come from older, wiser Christian couples who come alongside and mentor the couple from the dark into the Light. It can come in Bible studies and attending classes on marriage.
But sometimes, that is not enough.
Counseling, Christian counseling is the best step. It isn’t wimping out, giving up, or a sign of failure. It is a sign of knowing healing cannot come without digging up the past, facing it, and putting it in a different place. Not front and center, where it oozes all over the future. It is dug up, addressed, and put at the foot of the Cross.
Only through Christ can healing come. Only through Christ and wise counsel, can past wrongs be faced, acknowledged, and repented of and restoration begin.
Counseling does not need to be done as a couple, it can be individually sought. Sometimes the wounds a spouse carry are beyond the healing his or her spouse can take on– or should. One of the wisest things a spouse can do is recognize that his or her issues are not supposed to be healed by their husband or wife. It would be dangerous and unhealthy to seek help from a spouse who is too close to the situation to give advice.
Seek help. Love is not always enough. But the love you are free to give when you have the help you need will be so much sweeter.