When my husband and I were married we were serious about our faith. We knew it was God who brought us together, we laughingly agreed only God could bring together a young man from Colorado and a young woman from Illinois in New Mexico.
We meant the words we spoke that day in August, we were serious that we wanted God first. In the years since, we have continued to be involved in church each week and bring up our boys to know Christ.
The interesting thing about that day in August was being asked if I was going to say that four letter word in my wedding vows. I had trouble figuring out what the big deal was about promising to obey my husband. I knew in my head I was called to submit to him as the spiritual leader of the household. I knew in my heart I wanted to submit to him.
In these nearly twenty years since that day, I have found that promising to obey is so much easier to say than to do. Being surrounded by strong women in my life, I perceived that I too, needed to be strong and independent. I needed to show I could do it on my own.
But I wasn’t. I am not.
Recently, my heart has been broken by my actions. I long to show my husband that he is precious, prized, valued, and loved, treasured and more than anything — honored by me. I find that no matter my words, my actions are the most important thing to him. If I never told him I loved him again, I could still show it by the way I honored him.
By the way I obeyed him.
Scripture is beautifully clear and I love these words by Paul. I was reminded again today, that it isn’t obedience out of fear, or of believing I am less-than-worthy when compared to my husband.
My obedience, my submission, my service to my husband is to be rooted out of my reverence, my love, my obedience to Christ. It isn’t about whether or not my husband “deserves” to be honored — God doesn’t love us when we deserve it…
Paul said in Ephesians 5:21, Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. That is why I am to show honor, to submit and obey. Out of reverence for Christ.
It is for Jesus, in response to His submission to His Father — all the way to the Cross– for me, that I submit.
My heart is to show, not to say, I honor my husband. He shows me in a thousand ways that he is honoring me all the time. It is sometimes simple, sometimes hidden, but that love and honor is shown and I am called to do the same thing.
Heavenly, sweet Father, hear my heart’s cry to show honor and respect to the man you have brought into my life so many years ago. May my failures in the past not mark the path into the future that I will take with him. Heal our hurts, knit us together, and guide me to honor and obey the man I love so dearly. Thank You for the way You have shown us how to love, honor, and obey each other through Christ’s humble service to Your Bride.
May my sense of self-importance be replace by the reality of self-sacrificing service through love and reverence to You be manifest in my marriage.