the end of it all

In less than sixty hours we will unwrap a new year.  A year full of promises, opportunities, adventures, and unspoken- unknown blessings.

All of the things we wanted to do, did do, wished we didn’t do, wished we could re-do, will be “in the books” for good for 2015. There is no time machine, no De Lorean to get into, to fix the mistakes we made, the missed opportunities, the regrets we feel. It’s over.

This year has been like a white-water rapids run.  It has brought upheaval, tosses, crazy dips and turns.  New adventures, a new house, old house repairs and issues, challenges in relationships, rebuilt relationships, healing, and the beautiful knitting together of loved ones.  I am tired, but a good kind of tired that comes from the hard work we have done and continue to do.

At the crazy age of forty-six I am learning more about myself– the good parts, the ugly parts, the unfinished/unrefined parts that need continued work.  I am finding that after all this time, I am still very much in process and no where near completion.

I realize I am closer to the end of my life than I am to the beginning of it now.  I draw lines and hold to them more, without thinking about if it is right or wrong.  My instincts, my heart, my experiences, have brought me to this place in my life.

I also realize I have so much more to do in my life.  Not just working on our home, bringing up our children (less than thirty-six months until the last one graduates high school), or working my Monday – Friday job.  I have been created on purpose, for a purpose.  

I have a reason for being here, at this time in the world’s history, to do something that God has equipped only me to do.  My hands are itching to pick up the tools, to begin the work or continue the work He has prepared for me to do.

When I reach the end of it all, tired, worn, used up, ready to meet my Savior face-to-face I long to know that my accomplishments, the hard things and the easy things were not left undone.

I pray I will stand strong in adversity, hitting my knees for wisdom and understanding, praying and acting on behalf of those in need and striving to listen and respond to those in my life who matter most.

I will not call this a New Year’s Resolution, those tend to be broken and lost quickly.  But I am resolved to make this my goal for 2016.

What are you resolved to do to the end?


About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
This entry was posted in growing pains, reflections, Walking by Faith and not by sight and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to the end of it all

  1. Lovely words. Happy New Year. 🙂

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