I have a thing for chocolate. A deeply-seated crazy craving for chocolate every day. It can be a few pieces of chocolate candy, a candy bar, whatever. There is just something about chocolate. I love it.
This craving was so well known when I taught years ago, that my students and their parents would bring me chocolate for my birthday, for Christmas, for Easter, and at the end of the year. All seemed to be well in the universe if I had chocolate.
I started to realize that my “love” and craving for this confection is more evident to others than the love and craving I have for Christ.
There was a time when my love for Jesus was so evident that I rarely had to say anything because it was evident in my actions. I had grace in my everyday behavior and mercy in the words I chose. I prayed without realizing it and often found myself praising God in song as easily as I exhaled.
I cannot put my finger on when things started to shift. It wasn’t all of a sudden, it was a quiet, gradual change in my actions and my heart. Slowly my attention turned to the busy schedule I had, all the plates I had spinning in the air. It became less about my time with God and more about where did all my time go?
As I find my heart turning again toward wholeness and healing, my attention is less distracted and my focus is becoming more clear.
I am finding my first love again.
Hebrews 10:22 says, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
I am drawing nearer and the sweetness I have in my spirit is more decadent than any chocolate I have ever tasted.