That moment when your mind starts racing, trying to find solutions that don’t exist, the feeling that if you don’t figure out how to fix what is wrong and stop the wrong that is occurring, you will be held fully responsible and must pay all the consequences for the failure.
You are desperate.
Psychologist will say there is the “fight or flight” mentality that comes into play at this moment. While this is true, there is a stronger sense of flight than some people may want to admit. We tend to believe that being strong is what we need to do all the time– we cannot let anyone know we are weak.
Weakness is failure.
When faced with fighting or fleeing as a believer, the fight begins and ends on our knees. Collapsing in a heap, crying out to God, knowing we cannot do this task on our own, that our weakness is where His strength gets to show off according to Paul. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me (2 Corinthians 12:9).
The flight sense will always be an option, but hitting my knees, falling down knowing my God is holding me together as I call out– this is the kind of fight I am called to do.
Jesus went to His knees in Gethsemane the night He was betrayed. He asked God if there was another way. He prayed. He was in anguish. But God sent an angel to aid Him and Jesus stood up with peace and resolve in His spirit (Luke 22:39-46). No wondering. No worrying. He had prayed, received an answer, and there was nothing else needed.
His desperation gave way to resolution. May it be the same with you and with me.