Eve, Proverbs 31, and me

As Christian wives we all know that to be like Eve is not a compliment. We see her as part of The Fall and the reason we have child-birth pains. It was through her sin that God’s redemption would come through Christ’s death. Nope. Being like Eve is not a compliment.

Proverbs 31. Whew, that chapter has brought more grief and frustration to women than probably any other. We compare ourselves to this amazing woman, wife, and mother who tirelessly serves her family and community, all while running her own business. Yeah, she is the unattainable woman.

And then there is me. I am a sinful person covered by the blood of Christ and given a new life all because of His sacrifice for me. I want to be an amazing woman, wife, and mother, but I can blow any chance of that within ten minutes of getting out of bed in the morning.

What can I do? I can take down the pictures of the unattainable woman, put away the “before” pictures of who I used to be, and embrace my life where I am.

God is working in me. I am facing the sorrows, the pain I have caused, the regret of failing and striving to leave it at the foot of the Cross. I can continue to seek help through my counselor. I have had some great breakthroughs with my anxiety. It is just a shadow that occasionally shows itself and then quickly diminishes.

I am putting away the facade. I don’t have it together. I have ugly days when my soul feels like it’s wearing dirty clothes and no makeup. Other days, I feel like Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face wearing the red dress.

My marriage. Some days its amazing, some days prove we are still on this side of Heaven, where we both have work to do. My husband isn’t a saint, but neither am I. I have things I have done for years that I am owning for the first time. If I want to be free and healed, I need to recognize where I have been tied down to the wrong things, thoughts, and actions.

By God’s amazing Grace I am learning to forgive myself. But I am also learning how to hold myself accountable. I cannot be in this same place next year, let alone next month.

Eve may be in my DNA, but so is the Cross. Romans 5:17 says it best; For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ!

O Best Beloved, are you tired, like me, from trying to reach for a status, position, role, that you were never created to meet? Join me and stop reaching, stop straining. Put down the ladder. Put it all at the Cross. Let Jesus have it. We cannot become the women of God we were made to be when we keep trying to be the woman God made someone else to be. 

My husband once described me as A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies (Proverbs 31:10). While I want to be that kind of wife for him, I also want to be the daughter of God I was created to be. If I succeed at the latter, I will become the first. 

May it be so.

About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
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