One of my son’s favorite things to drink in the fall is apple cider. He likes to make it warm on the stove top, soaking cinnamon sticks in the sweet liquid.
To make apple cider the apples are place in a container and pressure is slowly applied to squeeze out the essence of the fruit.
The same application is used for olive oil, pressure is applied and the olives slowly release their oils to be captured in a container to be used in cooking.
Controlling people do the same thing. They will apply continuous pressure to others in order to make them conform to the controllers’ ideas of right and wrong. The difference is, when a controlling person applies the unrelenting pressure, they miss out on the essence of the person they are trying to control.
When someone tries to push us to fit into a self-conceived idea of what is acceptable, they only make us uncomfortable and it suppresses the very God-given talents we have been created to use (Romans 11:29, 12:6).
Eventually, we will either give up, becoming a shell of who we used to be, or we will resist the box and push to be freed from the controller. Either way, there is loss. Loss of control, loss of grace, loss of community and relationships.
Just like when the olive and apple presses have removed the very last drop, the only thing left is the squished mess of what used to be whole and complete. A shell, a mess, a depleted person who was created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).
O Best Beloved, let us stop trying to conform others into the image we think they should be and allow them to grow and mature into the person God created to become.
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10).