In the past few weeks I have listened to different friends share their hearts and their hurts. Each of them have described feeling lost, alone, out of options, uncertain of how to get out of the pit, and most important to my heart, feeling like they don’t matter to those around them. It has made me ache inside, listening to their stories reminds me of my own. The times when I felt desperate to know I mattered. To believe someone, anyone, thought I was special.
As I have looked back I have remembered each person who spoke words to my wounded heart and made a difference. I remember my friend, Carl, who sat next to me on the school bus one afternoon. I was feeling used and worthless, believing so many lies about myself. I turned to him and asked, “What would you do if I wasn’t here tomorrow?” In a sweet moment of discernment, he immediately responded, “You better be here!” He understood how I was hurting and wanted to make sure I knew I mattered to him.
After years of emotional and sexual abuse from boyfriends, I met a young man who saw me as someone of value. I can take you to the very place where he told me I was beautiful. It was the first time I had ever been called beautiful by someone who wasn’t my family. It was a turning point for me.
Growing up, my mom would speak all sorts of words of affirmation to me. I would often dismiss them, teasing her that she was supposed to say them to me, it was in the Mother’s Handbook. One day she said, “Not all moms say these things.” I chuckled and said, “Fine, it’s in the Good Mother’s Handbook to say them.” Now as a mom of two fantastic young men, I find myself speaking these same words of affirmation.
My friends who are battling the enemy’s lies of being worthless, unwanted, unimportant, need these same words of affirmation. They need to know that they are precious, prized, valued, and loved, and treasured above all things. They need to hear them again and again, until their hearts are saturated with these truths. Until they have soaked into every nook and cranny, every crevice, and deep canyon created by lies that they aren’t worth being around.
God’s Word is clear in Ephesians 1:3-14, this is how God sees me. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us (4-8a).
We are loved, we are adopted, we are redeemed, we have the riches of God’s grace lavished on us– lavished on us. This is not the behavior of a god who thinks we aren’t important. Instead, it is the behavior of our Heavenly Father who sees us as someone of value. In His eyes, we ain’t nobody– by His Son’s sacrifice we are someone- we are children of the LORD. For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant (Hebrews 9:15).
This is who we are, what we are, what we have, and why we have it. We are God’s precious children. May we celebrate this truth every day and declare our name to all who will hear. We are precious to Him and that is what matters most. We are nobodies no more.