Yesterday, I found myself struggling with a very negative attitude. Although I recognized it and named it, I didn’t do anything to try to change it. Instead,I kept my fangs and claws out. It wasn’t until I left work that I found my heart softening by texting and talking with my sons and playing with our neighbor’s new kittens.
My attitude was nothing like that of Christ yesterday. It was ugly. Part of me wanted to ignore my feelings and the other, smaller part of me wanted to ‘fess up. It wasn’t like God was surprised with my behavior, but He also didn’t look at me and say, Well that’s all I can expect of you.
Because of Christ in me I am more than I used to be. The ugly in me is covered by the beauty of Christ. I had no alibi that could excuse or explain my behavior, but my own sinful self. Now, I can point to Christ as the reason I am not the same. My heart cannot fill up with the Spirit of Christ on it’s own. It only fills with the Spirit through the Spirit.
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me (Galatians 2:20).
My ugliness burned like acid in my mind and heart. If it was not replaced quickly with the sweetness of Heaven, I would surely have scars that would mar my soul. How could I claim to follow Christ, when my words, my mannerisms were cruel, caustic, and void of grace? If I allowed the acidity to remain it would burn deeply and the scars and damaged tissue would take longer to heal, be harder to restore. It was only by my calling out the Truth of what I feel inside that I was able to change.
Darkness cannot hide in the Light. So the very God I choose to follow, I must call out to when I am crippled by my brokenness. In Him, Amazing Grace comes to me. Pulling me up to my feet again, taking my chin in His hands, He lifts my head until our eyes meet. Precious child, let’s get cleaned up and continue on our journey. With one move, my clothes are dusted off, my heart is cleared of the acidity, and God and I continue forward on this journey–together.
Dear Ones, let us choose to speak the truth and call out the ugliness we have and allow God to come in, restore us, and bring us into the Light.