Many times, I find myself reflecting on the ways I have survived the struggles, the battles, the selfishness, the sense of discouragement, the self doubt. There have been times when I have wondered what God was trying to do in our lives. In my life. As a teenager, I battled self-worth and value, like most, but for me, it included seeking recovery from rape and sexual assault. I hated who I was. I believed I was worthless, trash. I was depressed, self-destructive, suicidal. By the grace of God I stand today, a different person.
Scripture is clear, Jesus doesn’t want me broken and destroyed. He wants to mold me into the woman God created me to become. I stand today in a different place, slowly becoming that woman of God, by the grace of God.
Who you are today doesn’t mean you have to be the same person tomorrow. Jesus is so much bigger than the pain, sorrow, anger, loss, all of it. We just have to take the first step toward the change–call out to God. It may be messy, it may hurt, but remember that God can do more that we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). He can take the brokenness and restore it. He can change your heart of stone and make it into a heart of flesh- alive and beating (Ezekiel 36:26). He can take a young woman full of pain and self-loathing and turn her into a woman who knows her true worth- by the grace of God.
Dearest Child of God, be honest with yourself. Are you where you want to be? Are you who you long to be? Is it time to seek the healing you need? Is it time to see yourself through the truth of Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection? Then call out to God. Know the freedom that comes from being washed in His grace. Know the joy and peace that He can bring to your grieving soul.
I don’t say these words flippantly, I speak them from the other side of that healing. It is possible. Please, don’t spend one more night surrounded by the broken things. If you cannot fully pray, just say the name of Jesus, He will meet you where you are. He will bring you out of that pit of darkness and lies- into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9). Come, Best Beloved, join me in the light (Matthew 4:16, John 8:12, John 12:46).
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect, (1 Corinthians 15:10, bold mine).