The year is counting down and soon the wrapping will be off the new one. As I look over the year, my faith journey, and my relationships I see places of growth, places where I faltered, and places when I felt unsatisfied. Places when God showed up and showed off His amazing presence. Times when my faith should have stood strong, but I could not seem to believe. Still, I struggled with times when my foundational trust in God’s goodness did not satisfy and I found myself still looking for more.
During the worship portion of our service this weekend, our worship leader questioned this last idea. Do we still have faith when we still search beyond the faith we claim and lean on daily? The leader took this and dug deeper. His challenge was to speak with honesty in those moments. God is big enough to hear our honesty and not waver on the Throne. Our searching is not saying that God is unable to satisfy our souls, it is more that because we are on this side of Heaven. We are not fully capable of taking in all that God is because we are not fully perfected here on Earth. Job was the same way.
In the midst of Job’s suffering questions come about God’s purpose and wisdom. Is it God’s purpose to punish Job because he sinned or is it due to something else? We know from reading the opening verses of the book of Job that there was more at hand. Job could not see it all in the middle of the losses he experienced. Job’s view was only what was in front of him, God’s view was of all things at once. Job’s challenge was whether he would believe in God’s purpose and plan and at the same time accept that he would not fully understand the whole picture on this side of Heaven.
As the new year begins, I am hopeful for a wonderful year of opportunity, joy, and blessings. But I am not foolish enough to think that will be the only experience I will have this next year. The question comes then, will I be able to follow God with the faith that I have and trust Him to meet me where my faith has not been fully grown? Will I be able to rest in the truth found in Romans 11, instead?
“Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and the knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgments and untraceable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been His counselor? Or who has ever first given to Him, and has to be repaid? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen,” (Romans 11:33-36 HCSB).
May it be so with me.