Ants in the mind

I have been very antsy this week. Knitting, reading, sewing, mending clothes, cutting the lawn, doing dishes, washing laundry, cleaning, preparing, working; none of this is satisfying my spirit. Normally, I would find myself feeling proud of the completion and content in a task well done. Not right now.

I have been watching and striving to listen for the whisper of God. Wondering if the antsy feeling is because I am outgrowing where I am and this is my spirit knowing it’s time to move. Much like a child who is no longer content in the womb because the space is too constricting, I wonder if a birth is coming. Not a human baby, but the birth of something new. A concept, a life choice, a dream about to come to fruition.

Did Abraham feel that way when God came to him and told him about leaving to go to a new land (Genesis 12)? When Moses was told to lead Israel to the Promised Land? Or David about being called to be king? The calls on their lives was not instant, it was between ten to forty years for things to actually come together in the way they must have dreamed it would be. And how they could not even dream it would be.

Is there something you are feeling called to do? Called to become? How are you handling your emotions? Are you demanding God to show you right now? Or are you waiting patiently? Or is it somewhere in between?

My husband has been known to do things that are a surprise for our family. It might be tickets to a concert, going to a movie we really wanted to see, out to dinner on week night. As a newlywed, I would get very frustrated that he was not telling me what we were doing. My desire to be in control nearly ruined this side of him. I quickly learned that if I just let him lead, even when I did not know what we were doing or where we were going, I would be pleased with the end results.

In my Faith journey, I find that much of what God is calling me to do, is what my husband is also asking me to do. Follow their lead, trust that they have our best interests in mind, that their love is selfless. As I learn to trust my husband, I learn I can trust my Heavenly Father. Just as I learn to trust my Heavenly Father, I learn I can trust my husband.

And suddenly, I find that the antsy feeling is gone. When my mind stops running and my body is still, I realize that Jesus is all I need. He is enough. Whether He moves in my life today and changes things or calls me to wait and trust Him for the next days, weeks, or even years to come. What matters is that I am aware of what He is calling me to do.


He will always love me, work toward the very best for me, call me to exactly where God is calling me. Not an inch to the right or the left.

What about you, O Best Beloved? How well are you listening? Are you following where He is leading you?

Come with me, join me in being still. Listening and trusting Him enough to follow Him, wherever He may lead you.

About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
This entry was posted in maturing in Christ, Walking by Faith and not by sight and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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