My cousin is an avid swimmer. She has been swimming since she was around four or five, through elementary school, junior high, high school, if you didn’t know where she was, the first place to check was the pool. She has power, strength, tenacity, and is in tune with her muscles, knowing when to rest and when to push though.
She has been a part of an open water swimming group for years and has gone distances I would only go in my car. I think she is truly amazing. One thing that I have never fully understood, is that although we are just seven months apart we are decidedly different when it comes to water. I like to look at it, maybe put my feet in it, but you will not see me going into deep waters of my own free will.
During our house restoration/ renovation dear hubby and I decided to put in a stock tank for our tub in the master bathroom. The dimensions are 6 ft x 2 1/2 ft x 2 ft, small children could swim in it.
While my cousin may swim distances in the ocean or other large bodies or water, unable to feel the bottom with her toes or reach out and touch the sides; I want to feel those things. There is safety in knowing where you are, yet in the stock tank, to reach head and foot I have to put my arms above my head and point my toes as the same time. God whispered, That’s what it feels like when you are leaning into the faith you proclaim you have in Me. You are stretching your whole being and growing as you do it.
He was right, like always. This faith walk I have been doing for almost three decades cannot take me into the deep waters. If I am constantly looking for the coastline, trying to feel for the bottom. Where my cousin embraces the depth and breadth of the waters, I am still in the kiddie pool with my floaters on my arms.
And no, God is not in the business of comparing one person to another. He has never said, Why can’t you be more like her? What I believe He has said, is, I long to show you more, to journey farther with you than you have been before. But you must be willing to let go of the coastline and trust Me in the open waters. This weekend when I broke into mourning, I believe I truly stepped into the deep waters (Matthew 14:28).
I couldn’t see the coastline, couldn’t feel the bottom, I could only hold on to my Life Preserver and pray that I would be ok. That those I loved so dearly would emerge from the depths as well.
It has not been an easy few days for me, I am just beginning to use muscles my cousin has been using for a long time. Yet, somehow, I am beginning to see that there is beauty in the unknown, the unseen, the new horizon in front of me. I may never become a mermaid, but I am comfortable now with the seas.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, Let me walk upon the waters, Wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, And my faith will be made stronger, In the presence of my Savior (Oceans by Hillsong UNITED).