The day I realized I wasn’t perfect

Ok, there are many days when I realized I was to perfect. Like the day in grade school when someone did not want to be my friend because I did not fit in their group. I had moved to the town, I was an “outsider” and my ideas were different from theirs. It was a tough few years, but on this side of it, I can see the good.

In high school, I was not perfect either. I was not tall and slender, with flowing blond hair and the right amount of “whatever.” Instead I was an average girl, with red hair, glasses, a little too loud, a little too unrefined. I did not date an athlete, I was not asked to join the National Honor Society. I had a small circle of friends and we banded together. From the other side, thirty-years later, I am glad that I did not try to become someone else. I like who I am.

May 31, 1993 was probably the toughest day to learn I was not perfect. That was the day my fiancé of three years broke off our engagement. Just nineteen days before the wedding. Hearing him say he could not marry me was one of the biggest rejections I ever faced. I was devastated, but I was not destroyed. Little did I know, that God was working in the heart of the man I would marry at the very same time my fiancé was breaking up with me.

During a recent quiet moment with my husband I said, “I am sorry I am not the perfect wife for you. It’s all I ever wanted to be.”

He wisely responded, “You may not be perfect, but God knew you were exactly what I needed.” I started to protest, then he continued, “Besides, who else do you know who would put up with all of my s***? Until you find someone else who would do that, you’ll have to accept that you’re who I need.”

There it was. The truth about perfection. No airbrushed images, no plastic surgery, overdone makeup, not one thing. Just a moment of truth and nothing being held back. My perfection is not going to be found outside. My perfection was found inside. In my heart, where I continued to grow love for my best friend, my husband, the young man God spoke to all those years ago as I reeled from my sudden break up.

God’s perfection is never what we see as perfection. We get so busy looking on the outside at the “packaging” that we forget to find out if the “gift” inside is worthwhile. But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or his stature, because I have rejected him. Man does not see what the Lord sees, for man sees what is visible, but the Lord sees the heart,” (1 Samuel 16:7).

I am not here to be perfect for anyone or anything. I am here, as a believer who trusted in the Perfect God for salvation and redemption. A believer who is being perfected in His image, in His perfect timing, to become exactly who I was created to become. A fully matured child of God. No more, no less, just right.

Best Beloved, I don’t know what you are measuring up to today. It could be the co-worker who seems to achieve all of the attention and accolades. It could be the classmate who seems to ace all the tests and have all the friends. Or it could be a sibling who seems to excel in every task and seems to have all the right ideas.

God did not make to you to be someone else, God made you to be you, someone who is here at this very time, for His great purposes. Nothing more, nothing less. Do not let the enemy cloud the mirror you stand in front of each day. When you stand there in the morning or the evening remind yourself – You are a child of God being perfected in His very image.

After that, nothing else will matter. It takes time to think this way and live this way, but it will come with practice. After all, practice does make perfect.

About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
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