3 a.m. thoughts and other mind ramblings

I have missed writing this past week. I have had the urge to write multiple times, but suddenly the topic or the time to write are gone and the next task stands taping its foot for my attention. I have worked over ninth-seven hours in the past two weeks and still maintained joy and a desire to encourage others. A feat I am not able to claim as my own, Only God comes to mind.

As I write, one son has just completed second semester finals for his sophomore year at college and my second son is sending me Snapchat images of his mountain biking trip in Wyoming. Mother’s Day is this weekend here in the States; my mom and dad are marking their third and ninth Mother’s Day respectively, without their mothers. My mom is over eight hours away from me and my kids will not be home, so in one way, it’s just another day.

Dear hubby and I acquired nine chickens this week as well. They are my favorite breeds, I have broken my rule and given them names, even though I know they will eventually be breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Our dogs, Jack and Sam really want to get into the bird pen and check them out, but that is not an option. Last time they had access to our birds they tried to pluck al the feather off of one of our ducks. Not a helpful thing to do.

I have been sleeping deeply and dreaming about bizarre things like being the chauffeur for Kate Middleton; who in my dream is pregnant with their third child. Or dreaming about attending the twenty-fifth wedding anniversary party for my ex-fiancé and his wife. I cannot tell you what I ate before going to bed, but I am willing to bet I have been working through some unresolved things in my subconscious.

I miss hearing the tune of God singing over me when I take 45-minutes or so to just be quiet with Him. I have been taking walks during my breaks or lunch at work, barefoot in the grass or as I walk on the sidewalk around my building. I have been seeking the touch and presence of Him though nature, interaction with coworkers, just something to help me refocus my attention to “higher things.”

Hubby and I have been enjoying the drive to and from work, sharing silly things that happened during the day or hubby flirts with me by making up song lyrics and teasing me about something. After almost thirty years together as friends and in marriage, I can say I am still madly in love with him.

My brain cannot seem to disconnect from the wall tonight. I try to find a different sleeping position, I check my phone to remove any of those annoying reminders that I have something to check on in an app.

I want to start cutting the grass, folding laundry, doing the dishes, cleaning the bathrooms, and vacuuming the floors, but it’s still dark outside, people are sleeping, and I do not want to cause trouble for those who can actually remain asleep. Hubby and I are going to my first renaissance faire today. I will need some energy to do my usual to-do list and go there, plus the errands hubby will want to do since we are so close to the big city.

So there it is, the mind ramblings I am having in the middle of the night. I wish it were earth shattering, life changing, or the solution to something that needs attention on a larger scale. Then I could at least explain why I am awake right now.

Best Beloved, what keeps your mind running in the middle of the night when you should be sleeping? Are you wondering how to pay the bills, meet a deadline, get over a loss, get help for the healing you need? Whatever it is, God is awake and ready to listen. One of my favorite chapters in the Old Testament describes God staying awake all night long to meet our needs.

Psalm 121

1 I lift my eyes toward the mountains.

Where will my help come from?

2 My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not allow your foot to slip;

your Protector will not slumber.

4 Indeed, the Protector of Israel

does not slumber or sleep.

5 The Lord protects you;

the Lord is a shelter right by your side.

6 The sun will not strike you by day

or the moon by night.

7 The Lord will protect you from all harm;

He will protect your life.

8 The Lord will protect your coming and going

both now and forever.

So I can stay up all night wondering, fretting, thinking, and over-thinking, or I can trust Him to care for me right now, right where I am, and know that He understands and loves me. God is on watch, so I can go to bed. I think I will do just that.

Good night, sleep well.

Blessings, oxoxox

About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
This entry was posted in maturing in Christ, Walking by Faith and not by sight and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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