The past two weeks without work have been full of restoration. I am not referring to our home, but to my spirit. I have been blessed with sleep, working until my muscles are fatigued, completing simple tasks like hanging laundry on the line to dry. I have done job searching as well.
Each sweet moment has filled my soul with long needed peace and contentment. As the mornings have begun, I have listened to the birds sing sweetly in the trees and I’ve gone to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. I find myself celebrating the changes I see on our property, new perspectives from which to view it.
I can rest in the truth of Christ, that Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not, as Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be.
I find myself working on sitting still and just taking it all in, the gentle breeze, the warmth of the sun. All of it. After all this time of constant hurry, worrying if I have completed all I need to, the one thing I cannot seem to do is relax. Yes, I have rested, and all the above is true.
I have yet to settle into the contentment I have reached. I mean really settle in, like a child does before falling asleep in his parent’s arms. I have been able to purge the sense of completing tasks for an “atta girl” but I still have a bit left to go. I long for the sweetness of waking up without the concern of did I accomplish enough to keep the wolves of doubt at bay? It is the same concern I felt in my last weeks at work. Wondering if it would be enough and knowing somehow that it would not satisfy the howls.
Within the moments I feel content, I feel the embrace of sweetness. As the chorus goes, There’s a sweet, sweet spirit in this place and I know that it’s the Spirit of the LORD. As long as I continue to lean into those sweet moments every time, I know I will eventually break the chains of “enough” and just enjoy the sweetness of Him alone.