Dear Weary Warrior,
My concern is that you have felt that you have to “do it all” that you have to continue to fight the battle, that it is all up to you to win this fight.
It isn’t. It never was. You are not supposed to do it all. This never was your battle. You are wearing the armor, but God has fought that battle, God is fighting that battle. When you are His child, just as it was described in Daniel, when the angel says, “I have been fighting for three weeks in the heavens against the enemy, to get to you, so you know you are being fought for in Heaven (Daniel 10).”
The battle is being fought over you and for you, every single day. It is not for you to wonder how you will make it through the battle. You may have been fighting in it for hours, for days. You may have been fighting in this battle for months.
You may be on your knees every single day, praying for your loved ones who are struggling with addiction, who have walked away from God. For your loved ones who are battling mental illness. You are praying for that one moment, when you can see the sun break through the clouds. The one moment when you can finally see, where you have only believed, that God is truly listening to you and your prayers.
God hears your prayers.
O Best Beloved, you are God’s treasure. You are invaluable to Him. You are His child. He loves you, He created you. He fought for you, He has died for you. Do not believe the enemy who says that you are not being heard by Heaven. If you could see what Heaven looks like when you are on your knees, Scripture describes it as a fragrant aroma before God, when you are praying.
A fragrant aroma, like a rich incense. Our prayers are exactly like the incense that is lit in front of the curtains that separates the Holy of Holies from the rest of the Temple. Our prayers are rising up to Heaven, to the Throne Room of God Himself. Our prayers rise. When you watch incense, it does not fall to the ground, it rises.
Weary Warrior, you are not alone. You are not alone. There are brothers and sisters who are rising from bed, falling to their knees, praying for you. Praying for you to not grow weary. Do not stop praying, Best Beloved. Do not stop praying.
It may be years until you see answers to the prayers you have lifted in faith. And yet, it may be today that you see that prayer answered. It may be this very hour. If you are calling out to God, He hears you. No doubts, no “how do you really know?” I know it is possible because I have seen it. The prayer of a small child praying for the garbage man to take the additional bags and boxes at the curb, praying and having that prayer answered.
Prayers that have been prayed and answered for a loved one who has struggled with his or her identity and his/her place. Prayer over a child traveling cross-country solo, thousands of miles from home. Prayer answered when that child was in need, in a way, honestly, that I could not have imagined, let alone prayed. People who have prayed for healing, addictions broken, chains to fall off those who have been bound, have been answered by God.
Weary Warrior, rest. Rest. In the shadow of the Almighty (Psalm 91), know that He will give you strength (Isaiah 40:30-31). Know that you are not alone.
Never before and never since, has there been a time when God’s child has been without the Holy Spirit. Never will there be a time when you are given a participation award as God’s child. Never will you be left behind as His child.
NEVER is there going to be a day when God says, “Will you just stop it already? You’re like an annoying gnat with your prayers. I don’t feel like answering you right now.” Our Heavenly Father is never going to say to us like W.C. Fields, “Go away kid, ya bother me.”
NO! God says to us, “Come to me. Come climb into my lap, come. Let me wrap my arms around you. You are my child, precious and prized and valued and loved and treasured above all things. Yes, I have heard your prayers and yes, I understand this matters to you.”
He may not and probably will not answer the questions of why the prayers you have prayed have not been answered in the way or the amount of time you have been praying. God seldom answers those prayers (see Job chapter 38). Yet I believe fully, from my own experiences, that God is going to answer you. It just might not look the way you think it should.
There have been times when God has answered my prayers for healing by taking that person to Heaven to heal them. Other times when God has healed a person here, someone I could walk to today and hold in my arms. However He does it, whatever your prayer is– if you are praying for it– not out of selfish motives or vain conceit (Philippians 2:3) to claim that victory, as if it was answered within your own power. Instead, praying it through the power of the Holy Spirit, knowing God has the power. He is the great I AM, He will bring it to pass ( Psalm 37:5).
In this promise, you can rest. You can release the pent up panic of, “Oh my golly, I have to make this happen on my own, O my gosh what am I going to do?” Panic is not of God. Ever. Ever. Panic is a tool of the enemy because it makes you fear. God says clearly, that we are not to fear. We are made perfect in His love, we are being perfected in His love.
Best Beloved, that is the best answer to any prayer I can think of, the very best answer. If you need to speak with someone further, about the subject of prayer, the person for whom you are praying, the panic or fear you may be feeling– contact someone. A friend, a family member, even if it is a pastor on a prayer line you have never met. Some of my best prayers have been with strangers. Prayers with my circle of loved ones who get my “stuff” have also been precious.
Do not let the enemy sideline you from prayer. Prayer is powerful. Prayer can change things. Do not be silenced. Keep fighting. Keep waking up in the morning, getting on your knees and praying, “God I don’t have it in me to keep going, but I know you do.”
We have the victory through Jesus Christ. WE HAVE THE VICTORY.