Sizing us up

While in college, I was in a long distance relationship. During one visit to my boyfriend’s house, I started to iron a dress for an event we were going to that evening, but his mother volunteered to take over the task. She did a beautiful job and I felt like Cinderella that night.

Later on, I learned that she had noticed the dress size while ironing. She told my boyfriend that, “No one should wear a dress that size.” Now, for perspective, my dress size was only a size or two different than the size she wore. I was crushed that she saw my size and decided I didn’t measure up.

Over the years, I have had a number of different people look at me and decide I wasn’t enough. I wasn’t tall enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, quiet enough, smart enough, whatever enough.

I used to wear each comment like a rejection stamp, each comment, each rejection cutting a little bit deeper than the last, until I felt like I would never measure up to anyone.

After I had walked with God for a while, I started to learn about Who I was and Whose I was. Jesus said I was worth His death and Resurrection. I was worth being a whole person, so I sought counseling at various times during my Faith Journey.

Now, at age forty-six, I have been challenged by someone yet again about the size of my body. At first, I felt the “old” thinking start to take over in my mind. That somehow I wouldn’t measure up and that I needed to strive for the other person’s approval. Something in reality I would never actually receive.

Like a whisper to my spirit, I heard, that’s not what I look at. Suddenly my lungs filled with fresh air. I could breathe more clearly, I could recognize the Truth. I am not measured by what the world says, neither are you. Our measurement – our sizes- are measured by what is in our hearts.

“. . .The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

O Best Beloved,  do not allow the broken to mislabel you and tag you with the wrong size. Through God’s love and great mercy we have been given a beautiful garment from Heaven (Isaiah 61:10). We were created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:24).

We will face people every day of our lives who will take one look at us and decide the box we fit in. They will never ask how God designed our hearts, what our deepest longings and deepest hurts are, they won’t care. They will only put us in a box and leave us there. But we do not belong there. 

We belong where God has planted us to grow, mature, blossom, and bless those He has placed in our lives. Let His measurements size us up. God will always see us as more than we are and will grow us to be that perfect size for His kingdom.

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About gretchenr17

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. Writer, farmer, fellow sojourner... at every turn I learn a bit more about God's wild mercies.
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